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is this real this is nowhere near as nice as the fighting us as I think it's going to be but I just felt it was important that we get the opportunity to speak together NN again we find ourselves you know I'm not just saying the young was everybody that this tremendous struggle that we've had with the did the phones and what do you use to buy everything and and again this is not a this is not a crisis that we're dealing with but I just like that we should all have to be on the same page I'll be honest and I said it before that when we began when we get meeting last spring and at that time 44 of your children did not have phones whatsoever and I I said I was going to be because we found that very exciting because you know that we wouldn't have to struggle as much we said that you know we advise people not to get smart phones but we recognize that as I've been saying all along is that you know to go and make a rule I've heard people say all it would just offer it but then I feel it's a lot of leaf nahin her and we're setting up people not tell the truth and I already saw this more than 25 years ago around around other age Siri was a big deal when you setting up people to lie it's just not as I believe it's the antithesis of butts do so again we know that people are you know getting into their kids course the kids said everybody and the since they said everybody so then what ends up happening is that it becomes almost everybody we fully recognize you know we ourselves you know the building now a incentive system for how do the boys to limit their use and I'd like to say that we are so committed to it that we have play what's the budget for the beat the last year but we really ever committed ourselves to really thousands of dollars of incentives and I like them a lot of the boys signed up on the probe mythicals 38 boys Riverbend at 8:30 a boy signed on I mean if they give me to be honest with you we were successful with that I think we're doing group but what we are or what we're finding is is that some of the boys have found ways to circumvent and I have to tell you I think that some of these kids could one day join the Mossad because they're there their they're annuity is an amazing thing and we've been speaking to the boys and and some of them have been doing a little bit of a nice and round and then run around a parent and dumb and I'm bored seems like some some some some kids have enough and runs around the Paris and you know we set up certain but we felt our basic guidelines and he can I I walked you she was everywhere struggle everybody is struggling and again we always try and create sort of a balance and we just feel that we all want to be on the same page so I'm I'm going to ask rather than it to just go through some of the things that we're finding and then we'll we'll we'll start a wrap it up please hey baby I see the first lie thank you everyone for availing themselves of Zoom you know having a speech about dangers of technology using technology and that's an important point I think that technology is quite useful in the right way with the right circumstances I'm so just a couple points of introduction that will get into some details first. He said there's there's no crisis in the asheba this meeting is very much proactive preventative an effort to avoid a potential danger down the line you know many things in the bud in ninth grade is definitely is going to help us and you Aaron's not have to deal with much more difficult situations as your children get older I also want to reiterate another point and again it might be pointless to stay at this time but for those families in the Earth you know more than a small handful but a large handful of families who have nuts as far as we know purchase smartphones for their children we very much just started purchasing a smartphone for children even the best filtering with a tremendous monitoring whether a child is The Maze of trying to find something or more often than not accidentally I'm coming across I need a tissue are you saying or doing it's just the reality of the device many of us have these devices and we know it firsthand and for a child and adult it's one thing I can't do certain things on the phone there's a certain maturity in a certain amount of years Shania in that we've developed and I are her children are still in that developing process and they're not there yet and they find something even accidentally Avail themselves and unfortunately get themselves into plastic own trouble that we don't want them to have to be in and the goal is to mitigate so you know I was speaking with one of them today and they're already said it sounds like any battery in that you know forever I don't want to be forever but yeah we're battling this battle constant Evolution I looked up today and I wonder if when was the actual answer but the study that I found the amount of apps that are available today on a smartphone there are 1.8 million apps on the Apple App Store and on the Google Play 2.7 million it's a constant battle that we're doing our best to number one determine what are you she was Stan should be Visa V Z evolution and to godparents I commence so many of you who reached out to me whether it's during the year when was you know before the school year could ask for guidance and we don't have all the answers and I think it's almost impossible to have all the answers but we are you know what some of that we are focused on and therefore we may have answers or at least ideas and recommendations that you know as parents this is not your industry yeah you may not have I'm just talkin about the evolution I found out yesterday of a relatively new feature on the iPhone I'll share with you I wonder if you know what is a feature of the iPhone now called shortcuts where you can through this feature you can change the icon of any app you have to look like any other icon or any other apps and the name will be different I did a test run on my on my phone I took my sitter app and I change the icon to a very nice picture of Robbie a funeral and not my sitter and I now have an app or icon that looks like an app on my phone that when I click it you know it says not my sitter and it's a picture of us two of my colleagues they go straight to my settings and one of the boys told me about this feature I had to come back that quick question I don't know the answer to that you know it might be going through every now and then all the apps are on you know when a child's phone that might be too tedious I don't have a good answer to that but there is that you know what new feature on iPhone that you know I just became aware yesterday I did speak with the number of students have myself and everyone everyone's story is different this was a small handful again I want to reiterate we have tonight close the 50 boys in the in the 9th grade and I spoke to really no less than 20% of that and you know many of the boys were honest with me which I appreciate it and we're really not taking any major disciplinary Acts but many of the boys said that they have things that they're not supposed to have on their phone you know one boy told me he was able to circumvent his filter that I think he said his brother is Uncle put on this phone play is she not in the ninth grader boy in an older guy told me that he saw his parents putting in the password and the parent wasn't careful about blocking you from him and he knows the password to his phone another boy show me also not from this trade that he found in his parents phone where his parent keeps the passwords to the children's phones and that he has a password kiss on that parent got wind of that in my entire phone down sometimes parents open up the app store for the children and one boy told me that when my mom opened up the app store for me to get a game app or whatever app that you know I asked and she said I can I can download yeah but I'm downloading other things that he was allowed to and you know what Mom you know you know the wiser and didn't think and you know Austin is curiosity you know these boys are not bad boys the boys and they just get over what is it then until they have it and once they have it it becomes before she study that they you know they sometimes can't get rid of what we talked about technology you know I like to to categorize it into four primary concerns in no particular order obviously the inappropriate material that boys can be exposed to on the phone in a way that they can see more in one minute that he could see in his in his whole life he's older than I am it's really it's it's it's wild and yes I know that two or three years ago they were you know I'll let 10 11 year old boys with that in your hormones but now they're 14 15 year old boys and you know their there they're their approach and their mentality to two things that are out there and they have changed the dependency in the addiction of the phone the more they're on it and the more they have access to it and becomes just a bit can't live without its own can I speak to either older boys or even adults who tell me they can't they can't believe their house without their phone you know some some of those myself included I tried the doctor not to have my phone on me but I don't have to when I go down in the bay I just want to go learn I try to leave my phone in my office when I walk around the building and my wife's not too happy about it but that you do you know I don't need to be accessible 24/7 some of the scary stuff is developing relationships with the people and won't people definitely include with you know where are boys develop developing relationships with with girls which you know we'll talk about Snapchat a little bit later but that's one of the primary uses of the use that for but let's be honest there's worse than that they're people who are you know claiming to be someone who they're not and that's not the show but I don't think we've dealt with that are going to be on Sunday correct me if there is something that I just don't recall no thank God I ask but you know that that is a concern and the idea of having those proper social skills that the development just being on the phone at all times I remember before before khoudary right after covid when we would see the boys sitting around you know when we still allowed Marvel to be brought into this building and it was just a wild senior Washington DC before chakra started when they were technically still allowed to have their phones and none of them will be talkin like a scene from like a zombie situation of I was just there on the I can text each other and no one is conversing no one's to me do you know what's the long-term effects now we don't know exactly at this age and I said that everything has another reason the most things ever time in a proper place to be used in I don't give my children smart devices just like I don't give them keys to a car in a one day they're going to be allowed to drive a car won't start but the younger ones they can they there's an age where things are you know there's there's a certain amount of executive function that's been developed and you can be trusted with with with with the keys to the car and I look at many of these device is an honest answer that in general as somewhat in that same in that same you do Realm kids obviously use the internet we use the internet in the Yeshiva I'm sure many parents are thinking over what they have Google show me Sheila promotes that it's a great resource great resource Google Classroom does not mean that they need an iPhone does not mean they have to be on the iPhone in their bedroom with the door closed smartphone so you can use any public device device that parents have access to as well as that of the other children have access to that is definitely more I believe a more intelligent method of utilize Green Technology as we do but definitely a safer bet I want to go to a couple of apps that are of concern and are they said you know the millions and millions of apps we can't go to the mall but I'm going to go through ones that I guess I'm more popular and that kids sometimes have challenges with let's talk about level 1 through level four level one is the most severe there are three apps currently in Mexico they change that we do not allow India Shiva and I thought we were clear about this at the beginning of last year's orientation I know that would clear about it in the in the guidebook in the rulebook you know because I wrote it there three apps are Snapchat at Tik-Tok and Instagram those are apps that boys cannot have if they are, the minister Sheba I'm not naive to think that no boys have it I know some parents may be saying that but I will tell you that just like you know every rule you know there are boys who break rules this is a rule and if a boy Breaks the Rules there are repercussions. be responsible if we want to keep the safety of our children not only the child himself but the other children you know when that boy who maybe does have that app goes over to another boy's house and now that boy whose parents were good about and they said no you can't have it and we're not going to let you have it and now that boy is exposed to it it's it's just not right it's not right to those other families and it's something we all have to be on the same page about this is something you want to discuss with me with nobody I feel we're open to discussion but it is a hard and fast rule that these apps cannot be on any devices that are tiny that have access to level 2 are just registered as different people have different levels of sophistication about these things just understand that what Snapchat means is that you could send an image to anybody of anything and it disappears within ten seconds there's not there's no Trail and again the things that have been done with this are just absolutely horrific that I absolutely certain person anymore never say to each other but the idea when you have it I'm going to Media Disney Disney just stay but stays in your mind and that and that's a tremendous danger of it also I just want to save them people probably are wearing New York City itself launched a lawsuit against the major social media companies last week two of them like the glamour also understand that this is not the way children are supposed to be socialized crvena go ahead level to level two I think I mentioned it but it has come to my knowledge and you know where crush and the kids are very open with us with the Rebellion with each other you know about some of the challenges that they have and Snapchat has become the you know the Avenue for voice to meet up with other with other people whether it's you know mostly for people of the you know the opposite gender and that's become the primary Avenue tell them to do that that's you know what that is you know that Sonny has you know some very concerning and even the ones you want to do I don't know what you done so quickly I'll run through level two which are just as bad as level one but they're just not popular and again as you monitor your chill out your child's phone just if you do speed that I could send it to anybody if they want the list I no problem doing that app such as house-party telegram Omegle chick like a Tumblr sfm and cynical The Whisper are not completely familiar with all these apps I deleted my research these are things that our children should not have a level 3 is level three three apps Facebook Twitter and YouTube only category has been this silly all together but their level three because really they're not they're not things that are boys generally have Facebook and Twitter are not so popular YouTube turn the second book Facebook and Twitter also there's an appropriate on there and you can connect with people in the same way they can connect with people in any other social media app and it says if you ask me my recommendation they should not have it should not have and I don't think most of the boys do it's just not popular with kids thank God but if they do have it it should be removed from their own as well YouTube is a complicated it's evolving you know YouTube shorts is a new a feature that YouTube has which is just incessant scrolling some things inappropriate I know that's you to do that let's have some features that allows some sort of filtering which is but even you two best do more with screens on with you talk about towards the end there's some fun stuff is still not rich guy and his dad has some good stuff you know their educational videos no question about it today just needs to be monitored does it have to be on the phone I don't know why it has to be on the phone it could be as a set on a on a shared family device on a on a laptop on a desktop I don't know why I bought it on his phone but if it is out of it's only going to have to be carefully monitor I hate to say check in history and things of that sort but it's important if you want to know where your child is being in what he's asked us saying it's important to be on top of level floors WhatsApp WhatsApp is something that we that we do allow because it's become so prevalent and convenient for all of us that it's if it's it's it's just another another platform for communicate I think we all have it we all have it with our family and friends channels has caused some issues channels those of you are not familiar with that has added a new feature called channels which definitely a l contains things that we don't want children seeing and I honestly because of the you know that the recent evolution of it I don't know the proper way to monitor that I don't know if you can see where you know where boys what are you children have gone or where they you know what the  I do I honestly don't know as I learned more I'll I'll be in touch and will again I will share more but you know I'm not sure if you choose to take child off WhatsApp on his phone and just put it again on a different family device no share device that they'll definitely write my recommendation but listen to level unto itself because it's something that is just so commonplace that you know we're in especially in our communities that. It's hard to say no to that we understand although honestly we would like to say no I'm so just to go through a couple of guidelines that we would recommend recommend having a phone is a privilege how to write anything that happens under your roof they need to know it's by your rules by your rules so if you do choose to purchase a smart device for your child must be done in that you know in that frame that it stops by our rules and at any moment it's it's mine to take to take away or at least review any kid who says no you can't go through my phone and there's a reason why it is saying something that you don't want him to stay I need to see so I think it's very important to make sure that those that framework is is developed if it hasn't been already but definitely to have a conversation about that I assume talking to parents that have installed filter filters on their children's devices you know if I'm not then you know we're definitely the wrong address there must be a filter on a phone must be even those filters have to be monitored meeting even saw that are filled and half be monitored I spoke to avoid today who said that his parents put a filter on the phone and it's put out the 17 plus level or whatever whatever download almost anything I think except actual browsers but that's that's a high-level that might be 17 years old you know it in the secular World simply not in our loose ends you also needs looking at I asked may I have my phone set up a four-year-old level because you know that's the level that I wanted a certain things so even if there is an adequate and your child is a Sadiq and he is but this curiosity there at that age and is experimentation and you need to consistently be monitoring even if there is a salt rifle to another boy who said that his parents monitor his phone but he has an iPad that they don't matter cuz he doesn't really use it and that didn't the same conversation told me and that's what I downloaded Snapchat my mom and dad ain't no he's not using it because he tells me he doesn't use it or I never see him with it we really have to meet again in the point is not bad it's just a very normal curiosity so they have these devices they going to be curious and it's incumbent upon us to continuously monitor if it is is an uphill battle is it tiring yes yes it is but once we decide to bring these devices into our homes and put them in the hands of teenagers that's the that's the challenge that we're asking for you don't trust a child with a cell phone you trust a child that they can have a phone you have access to at anytime you you choose to be that's the approach to take some boys may say no you don't trust me and I trust you to have it and allow me to see it whenever I want to see it in this is already the trust that we don't trust. we don't trust other people I think he likes to say I trust you I don't trust everyone else we spoke about in the program that the screen timer how to schedule an hour and a half and that was that was I gave it to an hour and a half I would have even if you're not in the program screen time is an important Nick who the kids should not be on their phones for hours on end it's just you know it's terrible for development of over there for their minds and do you see them something you look like they're in a total days it is because you're thinking about all those images and just a million different things going through their head I'm depositing the phone at night is the most important it cannot be taken. All other devices into their rooms I would say never behind closed doors if I dare to say such a thing what that mean I'm to the rooms at night when you're going to sleep and I know this in our parents and I have teenagers and yeah they're going to sleep later than I have you know but the minute I go to sleep we know we have a family laptop in our kitchen that laptop gets shut and it's so protected and the filter on it and there's no access to any internet device after I going to retire for the evening thought about I did a Model that I know that's very hard and we asked and I were discussing we use our phones for our alarm clock you know it's hard to but if you can that's fantastic into your kids another item that I actually heard from a tad Representatives when in my community to go to Ted representative in was old devices old devices you need to know where they are and either get rid of them or lock them away when I came home from a tag program where the tab representative said that a lot of kids find old device of the Muse thought they were broken and somehow they're able figure out how to use them I came home that night I went to my wife where are those Isis and that you know God bless her I know that in advance cuz I you know that you're right maybe an old device got picked up and you know you give it to the kids to just play with us as little kids and that's just hanging around somewhere and kids are Savvy and then did they pick these up and they will figure out how to make some work y'all do the battery was so slow it's fast enough that a kid can use it if you'd like this old device to give you to know where they are and make sure that they are either either you know could always thrown out or at least those are as well properly filtered, monitored the last point that I want to make and then I'll give it away but it is communication is very important to be in touch with your children you know if they did see something they are seeing something sometimes you really want to do the right thing based on you're talking about your talking about you no socializing with girls is uncomfortable for a child to talk about with with with his parents and nothing you're just going to have to bring up that particular Converse allow a child to talk to you to make that dip if there is something that I wasn't supposed to go over there something that's on his mind don't mean that he's bothered by that you're opening up that line of communication skills with a space tail to speak with you riazzi I just have a few questions and we will finish first of all it's all so I've been maintaining all along that you are in touch with each other and your kids but are we really talking to each other and you know although it may seem ironic that if you had any I know that there's a parent at all so you just keep bouncing off each other and being in touch because that's going to make a difference cuz these kids they work towards a divide-and-conquer visit this this is what they're doing the other thing and I guess I guess somebody has to be the heavy Ms is that black ship before I said that how to say we've been spending a lot of time on this recently and again we put a lot you can set the program together and we've already spent hundreds of dollars and we're planning a spending more and we've been thinking now that we know I've been doing what they should we do I feel like I want to sort of making a mistake and start fresh and what we're doing but we all mariachi Teriyaki is Frozen on my computer of a Strickland can you shake your head and he supposed to buy YouTube okay so I think it'll be after you wanted to what he wanted to say was that we did have a program that some boys may not have been keeping up their end of the bargain to the program when I believe he wants to to say was that we will going forward still at boys to be in the program and I know some the boys are questioning that they are supposed to be allowed to be in the program it's going forward that you don't make the commitment the proper commitment to to the guidelines of the program so I think that that might be signed that was on their minds are you want to say something heavy I don't know what the heavy thing was I hope he tries to log back in I'll make one more point just while we're waiting a few minutes for me I can't log back in and then maybe I'll call him was boys bringing phones to your Shiba what is the rule smartphones that is that is a rule that we have and nearest nearest severe punishment for that they mean it isn't it is a two-week suspension there's a two-week suspension or a boy who princess on Toshiba throughout the majority of the day because I shouldn't have a office throughout the day because you know that breaking rules in some way and that. what does happen but I think it's very important that parents should not be complicit you know if I'm a say in that in in a boy breaking a rule so I think it's important that we have a share message that smart phones not be broke. He's shivering a boy needs a phone and you shiver there are devices that he's evil as we have four minutes or so I have to buy my son two phones so you don't have to if your son doesn't it off you want me just to bring the phone case you were then you just shouldn't bring it to you Sheba but if you do want your child your son to have a phone any Shiva then yes either don't buy a smartphone and only by the Shiva proof phone or did I say yes then you would have to buy it I would ask that you buy two phones because it's very unfortunate the boy has a phone it's not that he has the phone in Shiva severe severe consequences really not looking to do that I'll give this phone back to her earlier if you were by yourself please such my Sutton and at the moment I was going to speak my internet went down I mention the point of them being we're going to start fresh for them to be in the program yeah okay good and you're so funny so I'm actually using my phone now so that's pretty ironic I just the one last but I really wanted to say to everyone is that we feel very strongly about the partnership with the families and we are not shy about what we believe is prop for the kids I truly and deeply believe that if somebody is opposed to what we're doing again you can always talk to us about it but please for the sake of your children do not circumvent do around us do not say so it's not such a big deal. Okay I know these Shiba says that but it's okay it's not okay it's it's a to be honest with you again it's sort of like so far no blood no foul but at this point if this is not what you want then let us help you be in a place that you want to be and there are enough parents really do want this for the children and you don't have a right to take that away from them so if you were complicit with your child in this the time has come stop and please be with us and we want to have you we want to see your children be successful that is what we're looking for I don't know I'm sure probably would have been it said that all when I was off my when I was not offline but the but again we feel very strongly about it we're committed to the we know that the vast majority of you are as well and gums that you have or you know what you know I'll always have to say you know gray hair is genetic we get it from her children that date the boys are going to challenge us a lot of you this your oldest child is Helena's a long stretch of highway to go trust me I didn't down it and I know it and end so we're very hopeful that we're going to be able to build on this and end and just continued it to help the boys Thrive and grow that's really it that you would open to questions hey it's really a she feels comfortable taking questions I'm happy to open it to questions I think you can unmute yourself if anyone has a question or common a couple seconds I always leave them I always leave mute okay we're going to thank you very very much for being your it's so wonderful before I got off I get on my phone is different but on my computer I could see there were there were there were 56 people with what's in it itches so we hope that you didn't answer since I refused this for us we feel very much work together we think the kids are great we just came off a great trip the kids had a wonderful time and again we always are trying to create that balance and even in this don't want it to be a negative experience for them I want them to understand that our goal is to help them to grow Michelle Mease continue of novels from the children all right alright thank you very much ribbon thank you still dating and again anybody wants to talk to us personally privately by all means just be in touch with this thank you so much and good evening thank you

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